Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Gap Fact




Is there a gap between Gen 1:1 and verse 2? Charles Taylor with Ken Ham’s AnswersinGenesis organization says no (see http://www.answersingenesis.org/creation/v18/i2/replenish.asp).

Let’s consider some common objections to the gap fact.

Objection 1. Romans 5:12 that tells us that it was through Adam that sin entered into the world. God made the world perfect and He called it good. If there was death, destruction and sin underneath all that He made, the foundations, it would not have been good.

Answer 1. We know that "by one man sin entered into the world" refers to the fall of the human race (see verse 19 in the same chapter).

Satan had not only already entered into the world in Genesis, but even entered into the Garden of Eden, and he had fallen prior to that. As far as that goes, Eve—one woman—fell into sin before Adam did. This is another way we know this phrase refers to Adam's fall and his passing-on that sin line when he had children. To get technical, it might not be incorrect to say that sin entered "the world" after Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden and forced to till the land in Gen 3:23.

Satan had obviously already fallen when he showed up as the serpent to Eve, or else he could not have tempted them. So under the "foundations" of the world there was already sin in the universe.

Even now, after the fall of Adam, there are still things God calls "good," and we are far removed from the original creation. As a matter of fact, Deut 32:4 and Ps 104:14-17 are true right now, after the fall. God still calls his work perfect, even after the fall into sin and the curse. So the fact of Satan's fall and a cataclysm in the universe would not prevent God from calling his creative acts in Gen 1 "good."

Objection 2. It is kind of like Calvinism. The people who believe it insert their views into passages of the Bible or read the Bible with that view in mind. So when they read the word replenish, and don't consider that the Hebrew means "to fill", they read into it... "Ah ha! There's another proof that there was a Gap.”

Answer 2. Well, Satan fell someplace. It may have been before Gen 1:1 or before Gen 1:2. So Rom 5:12 and Gen 1:31 do not prevent it in either place. It could have easily happened between Gen 1 verses 1 and 2 in order to provide an explanation for why the earth was without form and void, and dark after God created it.

So rather than reading any "view" back into these verses, I simply count on the consistency of God and compare scripture with scripture. The only other place the earth is "without form and void" is in a context of divine judgment (Jer 4:23,26) whether interpreted as being originally spoken in prophetic foreview or not.

Objection 3. The people who made up the gap theory were people who desperately wanted the Bible to match up to science and that is their way of making it happen.

Answer 3. Seeing the gap between verse 1 and 2 was normative dispensationalism for decades.

I do not believe anyone can substantiate the statement that those people (Scofield, Haldeman, Grant, Chafer, Pember, Unger, and others) were in any way "desperate to make the Bible match up with science." That is simply slander. I don't believe anyone has shown a citation from any writing or any of their preaching where they said that. And to read that motive onto someone who takes the gap interpretation is simply wrong. I don't know any of them that believed in a local flood either (although there may have been, as there are today even among "creationists”), and I would say I am pretty familiar with their writings.

Objection 4. An examination of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) shows that the word was used to mean ‘fill’ from the thirteenth to the seventeenth centuries. In no case quoted in these five centuries does it unambiguously mean ‘re-fill’.

Answer 4. This is an example of "bad form," as the British would say, but it is a quote from Chuck Taylor at the answersingenesis web site. I have the OED (compact edition in 2 vol, printed four pages to a page; it comes with a magnifying glass you have to use to read it).

Of the ten usages cited, the ninth is indeed "to fill up again." The source cited from 1612 does not mean this is the first time the word is used that way (they trace it from the French), but simply the first example they give.

Its example alone gives the lie to the statement that "in no case quoted in these five centuries does it unambiguously mean ‘re-fill’" (there is even another unambiguous example given from Pepys Diary of 1666!).

I understand the semantics, but it is hard to see how something could be "released" if it had not been loosed at one time previously and now bound. Same with relax (to make lax again).

The statement is made by Ken Ham's people, that the "French word remplir ...doesn’t mean ‘refill’, but ‘fill’." Hmmm? Wordreference.com French-English dictionary says that one of the meanings of remplir is to stock (in the sense of re-fill), just like with the English word. The compound form remplir de nouveau means replenish (fill again).

But maybe we should just go to a more accessible reference. Yourdictionary.com:
re·plen·ish (ri plen′is̸h)
transitive verb
1. to make full or complete again, as by furnishing a new supply to replenish a stock of goods
2. to supply again with fuel or the like
Etymology: ME replenissen <>

I simply use this as the example because it was first to come up in a Google search. Seems to me like answersingenesis people are the ones who read ideas into things because they have an axe to grind. At least, I do not feel they have offered enough examples to show that King James translators would have had any different view of the word than we do (and their comments about the French seem to me to be very suspect).

Here's another example of bias from them. "Quite clearly the idea of refilling is completely absent from the Hebrew." Well, only in the same way that it is "absent" from the English word, fill. If I say that I filled my glass, that does not preclude that that it had not been filled before. "Absent" from the Hebrew cannot mean that the idea is excluded by the Hebrew, but Ham's web site apparently does not want to admit this possibility.

Bottom line is that usage determines meaning in the Bible, because it is the self-contained mind of God for man. So you can say what you want about Gen 1:28. Gen 9:1 (same word) is clearly a re-filling. So whatever the case, at the very least it does not argue against there being a gap, and more appropriately (usage determining meaning, and with the close context of 9:1 to 1:28) would argue the other way. I'm not sure the translators would have to "convey" anything about its meaning in 1:28, since its usage in 9:1 helps define it more clearly.

Obejction 5. In any case, such erroneous theories, invented in response to the ‘millions of years’ idea, must hold to the unbiblical notion that there was death and suffering before Adam’s sin.

Answer 5. Whether there was "death and suffering" before Adam's sin is a moot point. Ken Ham has an ongoing tiff with Hugh Ross about this, because Ross places apelike hominids as existing before Adam was created in Eden—but I don't see how that really has anything directly to do with the gap issue. There was certainly sin before Adam's sin (or else there would not be a serpent). Sin brings forth death, although there was not human death before Adam's sin because of the state of innocence he was created in. Did animals die prior to the fall? I don't know, but the plants certainly did when Adam ate them!

So for someone to say nothing happened between verses 1 and 2 that is not mentioned in Genesis, is fine. They still have to put Isa 14 and Ezek 28 someplace before Gen 3:1. But to slander someone who puts it between Gen 1:1 and verse 2 instead of between Gen 1:31 and 2:1 (for example) or between 2:25 and 3:1 (or somewhere else in between), is simply wrong to do. There is at least scriptural warrant from the cross references to put it between Gen 1:1 and 1:2. Otherwise, I suppose any man can do "that which is right in his own eyes" and put it wherever he wants.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Painting Over Your Flaws

I. AMNON DESIRES TAMAR, 1-10
A. Evil Suggestion, 1-5
1. Record of mental abuse, 1-2
2. Record of psychological abuse, 3-5
B. Ungodly Subtlety, 6-10
II. AMNON DEFILES TAMAR, 11-19
A. Record of Sexual Abuse, 11-14
B. Reaction of a Sinful Attitude, 15-19
1. Record of verbal abuse, 15-17
2. Record of emotional abuse, 18-19
III. ABSALOM COUNSELS TAMAR, 20

I come to class well prepared, but most Sundays the Holy Spirit prompts me to say things not in my notes, or not part of my preparation. Some of those things are probably better than the thoughts on my outline sheets.

Last Sunday we talked about painting over your flaws from 2 Sam 13:1-20, both parental faults and imperfections left from how your parents raised you. We pointed out that

Thesis: Parenting is so pivotal and primary in a child's development that what you end up being has a lot to do with who you come from.

That is why, it takes contemplating the Lord Jesus Christ in order to become like him. Turn toward evil, and you become more like the Devil because sin erases God's original image and starts to implant another one. (It is this idea of spiritual transference that is behind the Lord's command to make disciples. Our discipleship ministry is based on the premise that Christ's character can be passed-on from one mature person to another by utilizing the Bible and the Holy Spirit's help.)

Num 14:18 The LORD is ... visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.

If children see dysfunction they will perpetrate dysfunctionality. They become a next-generation abuser. So whatever you do as a parent gives direction to your child's destiny!

Point 1. It is good for us to recognize who we are based on who we came from, and then biblically process our genetic predispositions based on whose we are and who we have become in Jesus Christ.

Get a grip on your genes. Otherwise past parental influence will become your puppeteer, invisibly pulling your strings. You've got to face your flaws in order to fix them. Don't paint over without patching, or else the dysfunction will still be there. Such was the case with King David and his kids. Let me pause here parenthetically to point out that

Point 2. We’ve got to stop our fake approach to life and start having a faith approach to life.

We've got to seek God's face for more grace to correct our genes. But that's okay, because

Point 3. God specializes in taking bad genes out of your background, and setting you up by grace to get godly results out of your foreground.

1 Sam 13 provides us with the footprints of mental (vv 1-2) and psychological abuse (vv 3-5), on the pathway to sexual abuse (11-14), verbal abuse (15-17) and emotional abuse (18-19).

We unpacked all that on Sunday, but let me just give you the answer. Any idea that is not godly should be ignored. (I just gave you the answer!)

2 Tim 2:3 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

If you do not ignore it by enduring it, Satan will bring to your attention some subtle way of getting it. Hello somebody! You have the disease of dwelling on it! That's easy to fall into, because

Point 4. Satan has an agenda to make what you have going for you be used against you.

Amnon engages in sexual dealing to try and get emotional healing. So now he ends up treating Tamar according to what he really thought of her (you'll have to go back and read the passage to get that). So let me tell you how to

PAINT OVER YOUR FLAWS
1. Something bad may have happened, but you can fix whatever you are willing to face with faith

Okay, I'm about to give you the answer again. You can fix anything you are willing to let God tell you how to think about. (I just gave you the answer!) How'd you miss that, all these years? You can fix anything you will process through the Bible and apply its principles as your balm for healing.

In verse 20 Absalom counsels his sister and says "regard not this thing." Or as the James Gang inserts into your margin, "Set not your heart on this thing.” So

2. Do not allow what happens to you to get in you, because then it cannot make a victim out of you

This is biblical counsel on how to handle your memory. Be determined that your inner man is going to take a stand and perform up to Bible principles.

Psa 143:3-6 For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead. Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate. I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands. I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

Do the three things David says do. This is your therapy:
(1) Remember
(2) Meditate
(3) Muse (self-counsel)

Handle your mind by what you put in memory, what you meditate on, and how you talk to yourself. That will be $125, your session time is up.

If you stuff your emotions it will turn to bitterness and depression.
If you vent your emotions you are a bigger fool than the one who hurt you.
Muse your emotions, and HOLD UP YOUR END OF PRAISE!

Job 11:13,15-16 If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him; …then shalt thou lift up thy face without spot; yea, thou shalt be stedfast, and shalt not fear: Because thou shalt forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away:

God won't always give you the answer, but he always gives you grace. That will be another $25.

3. If you remember your name you can always rise above your shame

Neither Amnon nor Tamar is living up to their name. Amnon means faithful and Tamar means palm tree. A palm tree is someone whose longevity is based on their flexibility, and who always walks in victory, because they've turned their root into a “tap root” that has discovered invisible resources deep inside.

If you remember who you are in Jesus, you can rise above anything that happened to you in Adam. Handle-up on your parenting. Parent up!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Rescuing At-Risk Children


My position as President of the school board for a charter school in urban KC gives me a window on the world of at-riskedness.

AN EXPERIENTIAL EXEGESIS OF AT-RISKEDNESS
1. We are a nation with children (35 percent of our population is under 25)
2. Too many of our children are growing up without a father in the home (the 2000 census says 31 percent)
3. Kids raising kids, and kids who raise themselves are susceptible to gangs, AIDS, premarital parenthood, and at-risk of failing school

The thing that is obvious is the reason Satan and his world system has gotten into our kids’ heads is because Christians have gotten out of being overt testimonies to God’s grace in our place. The church has stopped being the church in the community. This is a shame, because God knows you’re not loving him if you are not living for him. So what can we say about setting the stage for the next generation?

1. The public policies of a church can have ill personal consequences for a community
2. We need people in church who know the Master to offer a key to the community that will open doors out of their dysfunction

Lewis Carroll, who wrote Alice in Wonderland, also wrote another story most people have never heard of. It's a story about a padlock, just an ordinary padlock, except that it was alive. It had long thin arms and was always nervous and running in every direction like a chicken with its head cut off.

So padlock, with arms flailing, comes upon another character who stops the nervous padlock and inquires, What is wrong with you? Why are you always so unhappy and running around like you have no purpose nor idea what you're doing? Waving his thin arms over his head, the padlock replies, "I'm looking for the key to unlock myself."

Is that not the predicament of so many children in our community, who find themselves locked-up by life? They are looking for a key to unlock their hopes, their dreams, and aspirations. We’ve got to make our lives a testimony as well as making our words a witness, so that we can engage our community in a taste for God’s grace. When we do not,

3. The personal crises of parents eventuate in an identity crisis for their kids

2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Not, all things are new (not past tense), but all things are become new over time as Bible principles are applied. This is the hope in walking with God. There is hope in an un-grieved Holy Ghost. The church needs to be involved in passing on an identity based in an image: the Lord Jesus.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

A Word from the Major's Wife


A friend I know is an officer with the KCMO PD, and he does double duty as a Major in the armed forces. He is part of a civilian affairs unit and recently redeployed. Just to keep it real, here is what goes on when a serviceman or woman of that rank leaves to do their duty for us


Flying in Opposite Directions

This past week, I was able to spend 3 days with Chris at Ft. Bragg. I just flew home today. Chris also got on a plane and flew to Kuwait. He’ll be there for about two weeks before moving forward. He will not have a definite address until they know where they’ll be in Iraq. As of right now, even that is uncertain. He was supposed to work in Tikrit, but with the military nothing is ever definite so pray about the location of where he’ll be.


Ft. Bragg

I had visited Chris at Ft. Bragg at least 4x in 2003 while the unit was waiting for Turkey’s border to open up at the beginning of the war. I had flashbacks being on base again. I did his laundry for him, then followed him around and experienced a typical day with him.

He deals with a lot of people issues in a day! He had to release an officer from responsibility, counsel another officer, fight for two promotions for his Soldiers and stood his ground on a lot of other issues in order to take care of his personnel. I told him that many people had been telling me that they were praying for him. He said to let you know that your prayers are working on his behalf. It is a very stressful environment and they hadn’t even left the country yet! However, Chris is handling everything very well. He is a good leader. He has some very good young Soldiers under him. We took 5 of his guys out to dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack. We celebrated his birthday. The restaurant embarrasses you, so the guys have good videos to bribe him in the future!


The Green Ramp

This is the location where Soldiers fly out. This morning, Chris used his last hour in the States to call his whole family – that would be 9 other siblings and his parents! He also called Hope and Andrew at their school and talked to them. Today was Andrew’s birthday. Hope’s was last week. They were very brave on the phone with him. He cried. They didn’t.


ThanksMany thanks to all of you for praying for us. It is too much to go into detail how God is working in the little things in our lives. We see His Hand in the weather condition allowing me to fly to/from NC, in an encouraging phone call at just the right time, in the way He gives us grace to deal with unpleasant people and circumstances.


They are still in the air as I write this, so pray when you read this.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Tidbits


A friend was browsing the aisles of a shoe store when they stumbled upon an overweight person fussing with a shoe they were trying on. Her low-rider pants failed to fully conceal her derrière. Obviously the "lady" did not care who saw the "big" event (including a boy 8 or 9 years old, who quickly fled the scene of the crime).

Which brings me to the forty-something neighbor that still lives in his momma's house. With his jeans hanging low, he was doing some gardening in a t-shirt that did not fully cover his fuzzy beer belly (probably not lager). As luck would have it I caught him stooping to pick up some yard debris just in time to proudly display his "plumber's crack." Just say no to crack.

While on the subject of exhibitionism, have you noticed how many boyz 2 men 2 boyz wear their pants just a hair above their plumber's crack? Thankfully, many of them wear boxer shorts above the belt line to make a stab at modesty.

Is it old fashioned to suggest that a male should not publicly display the fruit of his looms? After all, UNDERwear is meant to wear under clothing.

Al Gore is EthicsDaily.com's pick as Baptist of the Year for 2007.

According to England's Daily Telegraph the Roman Catholic Church has vowed to "fight the Devil head-on" by training hundreds of priests as exorcists. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/)

Current Conditions in Kenya
(From Jerry & Sherry Daniels, in country.)
Kenya's post-election violence has escalated alarmingly! Today (Thursday) is the critical day. The losing candidate in last week's election has called for a "million man march" on Nairobi, to protest what he feels was a "rigged" election. The issue has become focused on tribal hatred. This is the real root of the matter. Even after 34 years in Kenya, Sherry and I are shocked at the level of tribal hatred which has suddenly exploded to the surface.

Perhaps you've heard of the tragic death of 50 people who were burned to death inside a church in the town of Eldoret, a town where we labored as missionaries 30 years ago. Eldoret is one of the fiercest areas of conflict because of the large populations of both Luo and Kikuyu which have a long running history of animosity. The victims in the church burning were reportedly Kikuyu. The losing presidential candidate, and the one who has called for all this violence is a Luo. Kikuyus are being attacked across the country, which, of course, results in counterattacks.

The message of Christ's reconciliation has never been more needed! This is the focus of our message to all of our Kenyan brethren in this critical hour. Please pray specifically that all born-again believers across Kenya will embrace this path of forgiveness and reconciliation. Romans 8:28 has been such a real verse to us so many, many times in our 34 year ministry in Kenya! It looks like this may well be Kenya's DARKEST hour. We certainly need prayers!

One area of great concern is our orphan ministries. Food supplies are suffering and prices are rising fast. Fuel supplies have completely run out. We have about 50 orphans in our 3 orphan homes, and more than 200 other destitute children who rely upon our feeding programs. Our normal budgeting has been thrown for a loop.

Church Brings Soldiers Home For Holidays
www.kmbc.com/video/14924446/index.html?taf=kc1
Check out the two-minute video on Maj. Chris Romero's Black Knights unit, headed for Tikrit, Iraq.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Paradigms for Parenting


A paradigm is an example, a model, a pattern. In our series on parenting it is the standard image and vision of what biblical parenting should be. God is a perfected trinity. As with all things based on God's image and truth, perfected parenting is likewise a trinity.

THE TRINITY OF PARENTING
1. Guardian
2. Guide
3. Governor

How'd you miss that, all these years? The foundation of parenting is an understanding and outworking of this trinity, administering truth in grace. Next, let's set the context of defining our paradigms with

A WORD TO THE MOMMAS AND THE POPPAS
A. Parents are not in charge just because they are bigger, smarter, or got to the planet first, but because God has made the adult his agent in the lives of children
B. Perfected parental authority is expressed as a combination of control and influence
C. Expect kids both to disobey and to try and get around the rules regularly
D. If you didn’t state it, they can’t obey it
E. Be willing to talk about it but never willing to argue over it
F. Train them by telling them only once, because you establish the limit by what you allow early on

Every child has natural bents that are both good and evil. Each of us has a spirit that is connected to who we are as a person, our drive and self-image. We also have a will connected to our faculty of free agency and the ability to choose. How are parents going to mold their child's will without crushing his or her spirit? How indeed, if that child has made a wrong choice and needs his or her will bent to the right direction without completely destroying their self worth?

First, some tips on breaking the will, but not the spirit of a child.
• Make your home honor the Lord in such a way that they have no choice but to follow God
• Distinguish between weakness and wickedness, childish irresponsibility versus willful rebellion
• Do not delay your discipline of them, because this increases the difficulty until you reach the point of despair
• How many times it takes your child before he or she obeys is proportional to how many times it takes him to act up before you act

Raising a child so that their spirit is encouraged while their will is conformed takes a different paradigm for teenagers than it does for younger kids. So we partition the paradigm into two. Here is what to do

IN THE FIRST DECADE TO A DOZEN YEARS
1. Exercise loving control
2. Give them a godly example
3. Rule through routines and boundaries
4. Always have effective follow-through on promised consequences

SIDEBAR on spanking: Spanking is the measured use of physical pain to change the mind of your child in their determination to be disobedient.
• The Bible does not condone beating, injuring, hurting or humiliating your children
• Spanking should not substitute for patience

Taking the time to discipline children early in life saves a lot of grief later on. But remember, parenting impacts more than just the present, because you are preparing them to enter eternity from this life.

A principle-ized paradigm for raising teenagers is based in the recognition that to perfect your parenting you must change your strategy over time. How do we navigate that? First, with some

TIPS ON TRANSITIONING
A. Moving from exercising parental authority through control to exercising it by influence depends on the personality and maturity of your child
B. Know your kids
C. Understand your Bible
D. Ask God for guidance

Teenagers should be taught to develop good judgment by being allowed to make some of their own judgments. Boundaries must now be based on who you are dealing with in each issue, because the goal is to help a teenager develop good judgment while they are with you so they will make good decisions once they are on their own.

A PARADIGM FOR BRINGING UP ADOLESCENTS
1. Teenagers need authority expressed as loving influence
2. Develop systems that are designed to minimize conflict
3. Let reality provide the discipline
4. Talk about matters of the heart

Can I break it down for you? As a parent, you have authority over your child. But check this. Authority is the right to define limits, rules and consequences through the balanced application of direct control and appeal to conscience.

Influence, Conflict and Discipline of a Teen
Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Key Definitions
• To provoke your child means to challenge them in such a way that it calls forth a hostile reaction.
• Nurture is communicating life skills by cultivating a child’s mind and morals to correct their mistakes and curb their passions.
• Admonition implies we love a child enough to warn them and exhort them rather than stand by and ignore them.

THE DIVINE TRINITY ON RAISING TEENS
1. Search the scriptures
2. Seek the assistance of the Spirit
3. Respond based on the your personal knowledge of how to appeal to your child’s conscience

Matters of the Heart
What’s really involved in a paradigm for parenting older kids is a battle for their heart. You have to be a partner in their struggle. It is your transparency, honesty and candor that helps your kid come to grips with what they are going through.



VERBAL DOOR OPENERS
• I want to know what you think
• What are your friends saying?
• That sounds important to you, tell me about it
• That’s a good question
• Do you want to tell me about it?
• If you want to know more just ask me
DOOR-SLAMMERS
• You won’t understand
• If you say that one more time I’ll…
• That’s none of your business!
• I don’t care what your friends are doing
• You don’t need to know that
• Why are you asking me?
• Don’t come to me if you mess up

You have to be the one who is every day and in every way pointing your teens to Christ. Your attitude is going to get you in more trouble with your teenager than anything else. Humility and meekness will breed mutual respect. You don’t have to approve what is popular, but you have to be aware of pop culture.

WAGING THE WAR FOR YOUR TEENAGER WISELY
A. Understand that what is at stake in raising our teens is who and what they worship
B. Identify potential idols that seek to take the place of God
C. Expect to be shocked, but don’t be judgmental
D. Deal with your own guilt now

Recommended Resources for 0-12
To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl. No Greater Joy, 1995.
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp, Shepherd Press, 1998.
Hints on Child Training, by H. Clay Trumbull. Great Expectations Book Co., 1993.
Five Needs Your Child Must Have Met at Home, by Ron Hutchcraft. Zondervan, 1995.

Recommended Resources for 10-19
Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, Second Edition with Study Guide, by Paul David Tripp. P & R Publishing, 2001.
Family Shock: Keeping Families Strong in the Midst of Earthshaking Change, by Gary R. Collins. Tyndale House, 1995.
“Communication Skills for Parents” http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/disciplin1/a/comskills.htm
“The Five Musts of Intentional Listening,” by Jan Pedersen. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Pedersen2.html

* Note: recommending a resource does not constitute Alan’s endorsement of everything in the book. Read with discretion, and balance any author’s advice against what you are learning in the Bible through the Career Class and our parenting groups.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Parenting the Prodigal

Two children were overheard discussing their parents, and the first little boy said to the second, I am really worried. My daddy works like a slave all day long so I can have everything I need, enjoy the finer things of life, and one day go to college. My momma works all day long, and then comes home and has to clean up after me, wash for me, iron for me, cook for me, help me with my homework, and drive me everywhere I want to go. They seem to spend every moment of their waking lives waiting on and working for me.

The second little boy said, What are you worried about? It sounds like you have it made in the shade with a glass of lemonade. The first boy answered, I’m worried they might try to escape!

And well they may, for parenting is tough work. We are trying to help somebody out who is parenting a prodigal right now. Here are some precious points you may have missed last Sunday.

  • You have an inalienable spiritual right to define your own life according to Bible principles (and this includes your parenting). This is why Satan makes it such a struggle for you to make good personal choices.

  • Your control over your children is not deigned to be permanent. As they approach the teenage years there is a power transfer, but we will leave that discussion for a later Sunday..

  • SIDEBAR: You need to learn to manage your credit as well as your income. Say, "Hello somebody!" Oh, it’s never too late to live within your own income, because it will help you be who you should have been all along..

  • When you see something wrong, stop doing it. (I just gave you the answer!)
    The crowd always thins-out when the going gets thick. How'd you miss that, all these years?.

  • Thank God he deals with us according to who we are in Christ, not according to who we are!.

Okay, those were just nuggets, we need to get jiggy with it and start heaving the ore. Our thesis was that parenting is a tough job because it requires you to have godliness in yourself, and reproduce it in your kids, in order to see it multiplied in life.

I find that many people are confused about the purpose of parenting. The purpose of parenting is to provide a secure environment that shelters children from certain temptations as they grow up, until they reach the age that God wants them to take personal responsibility for themselves. That means, the evil day is going to come to all of our children, and our job as parents is to remind them of their creator and give them God’s armor so they will be able to stand when they are tested, Eccl 12:1; Eph 6:4,13. Just remember, the character of your parenting is defined by the quality of your preparing your child, not by whether they successfully use that preparation to make adult choices. Okay, can I point you to some

Parenting Imperatives
#1. As long as your children are small, you must be large and in charge to bend their will without breaking their spirit.
#2. Kids want control sooner than we want to give it, and they deserve it sooner than we are willing to release it.
#3. Prepare your teenager to take control of who they are.
#4. You cannot lead like Jesus unless you are following Jesus.
#5. Sometimes your kids won’t recognize how good their old man was, till they hook up with the new one, who is sure enough a fool!

What about parenting the prodigal? (Luke 15:11-20)
A. Their restoration starts with recognition, 17a, 1 John 1:9
B. Recognition will proceed to realization, 17b
C. Realization comes with an internal act of remembrance, 18-19
D. Restoration ends at the point at which he is ready to return, 20

We are trying to give you a paradigm (an example that serves as a model or form) as a pattern for perfected parenting. The tentative study schedule for the rest of December is:

Perfecting Our Parenting
Sunday, Dec 9 — Paradigm for Parenting Ages 1-12, Prov 22:6
Sunday, Dec 16 — Paradigm for Parenting Ages 13-19, Prov 1:8-9
Sunday, Dec 23 — Rescuing At-Risk Children, 1 Sam 4:19-22
Sunday, Dec 30 — Painting Over Your Flaws, 2 Sam 13:1-22
Sunday, Jan 6 — Blended Family Functionality, Prov 24:3-4