Little Tears

Got all the heartaches I can use
From all the long nights I've been through
I'm only crying little tears
Not quite as big as they might appear

—Joy Lynne White

A storm was stirring in Jesus. "He groaned in the spirit, and was troubled." The center column reports that "he troubled himself." Before he would raise the dead he roused himself. Why? Because he now stood toe to toe with that last enemy, death.

Spurgeon says the hardest thing in winning souls is to get ourselves into a fit state. I would say the same for preaching. Because until your own soul is moved you cannot move others.

Indignant at the power of the hour of darkness. Grieving with the family. Sorrowful at those who stood by in unbelief. Recognizing the full effects of sin. Our Lord's heart was in a great storm. But instead of a thunderous threat, or the lightning bolt of a curse, all that was perceptible was a shower of tears. Just two words make a verse unto themselves, John 11:35. He worked, he walked, he wearied, and "Jesus wept."

Jesus was always in touch with himself. Happy are those who are in touch with him. He held his divinity without doubt and his manhood without mistake. How did he keep it together? He wept.

The Puritans used to say that no prayer would prevail with God like liquid petitions. They trickle from the eye when distilled from the heart. The angel at the Jabbok will slip from Jacob's grasp. But moisten your hands with tears and you will hold him. Why take Prozac? Let your soul arouse itself, and trouble itself to anguish to prevail. Jesus taught us how to baptize our prayers.

How did Jesus keep sin out of his crying? By weeping in the Father's presence. He spoke to God in his sorrow and the first word was, Father (v 41). But that's not all. It was, "Father, I thank thee . . .".

If you can weep in a way that, all the while, you sense God is your Father and are thanking him, then your crying is healthy. When you cannot smile or weep without forgetting God and his word, you are sinning. (I just gave you the answer. Or if you prefer, we'll call it "The Secret" and you can send me $23.95.)

Consider this. Jesus did not prove his sympathy in words, or even his deeds. Only your heart can express true sympathy, and it does it by tears. They are mined from the depths of the heart, minted in the eyes, and put in circulation as precious (Ps 56:8).

Watch, or you'll miss it. Our Hero wept in the fight, but he was not defeated. He came, he wept, he conquered (apologies to Julius Caesar; I'm not sure how to say that in Latin).

You have an awfully small soul if you can hold it all in your ribcage. A Christ-like soul lives in the souls of other people’s bodies as well as its own (Rom 12:15). And indignation over being wronged will best show itself in compassion for the wrongdoer.

Then after you weep, go roll the stone away.

The First Day of Chemo

The look is medicinal but the feeling is industrial. It's through the door at the end of the hall. Just past the on-site pharmacy that mixes the chemo concoctions right here.

Enter and you are in the center of the room. Too huge. Like a warehouse floor or something. To the right nurses and attendants are behind a counter. They look up with one accord to see who walked in. Great. In front of you are three treatment "pods." Each pod is comprised of two rows of identical, institutional recliners, rows of about ten, facing each other with an aisle down the middle. No color. No laughter. Little speech. It's like, mechanized.

This is the first day of chemotherapy. If you have to meet with the doctor or doctor's assistant before your session, pay your $40 co-pay on the way in. In our case, this "office visit" will be scheduled for every Wednesday and Friday. We will be there Monday through Friday like a job. Six hours of chemo (two hours per bag), plus setup time. Three weeks on. One week to rest. Do that twice. Then take radiation for two weeks. Expect second and third degree burns. Then go back for two more cycles (eight weeks) of chemo. Give it twenty weeks total.

Vomiting? Probably not. They put anti-nausea medication in the bag. Did I mention it goes into a "picc line" (a Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) that empties directly into the heart? This tube has a double lumen, meaning two places to screw a drip line or syringe right outside the arm. They push two large syringes of saline through first, to clean out the blood. We got the hook-up.

You'll lose your eyebrows. Don't even think about getting a temperature above 100.4 degrees without calling the doctor immediately. No fruit or vegetables that you cannot wash AND peel. You won't want to eat because nothing tastes right, but it is your "job." Put a priority on protein. Keep drinking liquids for the sake of your kidneys. They will give you a separate medicine to protect your bladder. Oh, and if you want to take JuicePlus, forget it. They rely on the oxidizing property of your body for the therapy to work. Save vitamins for after you finish. In the mean time, spoon peanut butter out of the jar.

I wish they had some color in here. I know this place has to be antiseptic for the sake of second-week sufferers at the low spot of their immune system function, but does it have to LOOK so antiseptic?

As you engage a person's gaze there is almost an unspoken acknowledgement. "You, too?" When I walked into the waiting area I saw someone I worked with on some projects last year. Older, but she had just put her mother into a nursing home. Now she was pushing a walker. I don't remember hearing she had cancer. It was like I knew her in a past life. Not now.

Heb 13:3 Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body.

As if you were suffering bodily. We need more solidarity in the family. Like Matthew Henry points out, we are all in the body physical, and if we are saved, in the body mystical (the body of Christ). Everyone who lives experiences bodily pain. Use that to help you remember those who are suffering now, even if you are not.

Like my brother minister. I took him to his first chemo today. The doctor said: sarcoma sucks. Yeah. Peter says,

1 Pet 3:8,12,14 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: ...For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: ...and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;

Amen.

Positive Cure for Your Negativity (Psalm 130)

What a Psalm; what a series. Faith waits ON God (vv 1-4) that waits FOR God (vv 5-8). As long as I know he is coming for me, I can wait on him. Saul waited on God (willing to serve him), but did not wait for God (when Samuel tarried his coming), and so Saul lost the kingdom (1 Sam 13:8-14). He waited on circumstances—by serving people and things—instead of waiting for the Lord. Isn't that amazing? I wonder what you will do if Jesus keeps tarrying his coming?

Jeremiah cried out of the dungeon. Daniel cried out of the den. Jonah cried out of the whale. Feel like you can't pray? CRY! "Since it is our duty to cry, it is in our interest to cry," because crying turns waiting from being hopeless resignation, into hopeful expectation. But be careful to hope, not based on your own opinion or imagination, but based on what is promised to you in God's word (v 5).

Look at how this Psalm is built. Climb the ladder with me. We go from death to life (1-2), guilt to forgiveness (3-4) darkness to light (5-6) and slavery to freedom (7-8). In the first four verses the psalmist cries for forgiveness from the guilt of sin, and in the last four for deliverance from the misery of sin. God notes our sin, but notices our tears and faith, and above all takes note of Calvary. So "there is forgiveness (v 4) . . . for with the Lord there is mercy" (v 7).

This is a double-header. First, forgiveness brings out holiness (v 4). Second, suffering brings on sanctification (v 8). As F.B. Meyer puts it, "Mercy is antiseptic to depravity." Ha! That means forgiveness of the sin which caused your suffering is more important than getting deliverance from the suffering itself.

Let me open a window on that word so you won't be so slow. The paralyzed man in Mark 2 had his friends drop him from the drop-ceiling in order to get him in front of Jesus so he could be healed. However, Jesus' first word to him was not, Get up and "walk it out," but "Son, your sins are forgiven."

Oh, turn off your halo. You know you are always asking God to stop your suffering, but not willing to ask him to save you from sinning. You're just like Augustine. When he was twenty-something he prayed, "Lord make me morally pure . . . but not yet!"

Martin Luther classified this as a "Pauline Psalm," because it promises forgiveness of sins by God's grace to anyone that exercises faith, totally apart from self-righteousness, self-effort, rules or religious rituals. That means the closer the pilgrims got to the Temple Mount, the better idea they got of Pauline doctrine. They were reminded that the sacrifices were a substitutionary atonement, and that we are justified by an imputed righteousness. Otherwise no one could "stand" (v 3).

Consider this. "I cried to the LORD" (v 1) and said, "Lord . . ." (v 2). Okay, I can see you missed it. Five times he calls on the LORD (Jah or Jehovah), and three times on the Lord (Adonai). Okay, let me instant replay and slow it down.

In the King James Bible "LORD" in all capitals translates the name Jehovah. Whereas "Lord" translates the name Adonai. Jehovah is his covenant name, promising salvation. Adonai is his controlling name as Lord and master. So you can cry to the LORD to deliver you precisely because of his Lord-ship over all obstacles in the way of delivering you. How'd you miss that, all these years?

There is "plenteous redemption" (v 7). As Matthew Henry says, that means "enough for all, enough for each, enough for me." And redemption from sin includes redemption from all other evils. Wait. Because that means in God there is more than forgiveness—there is deliverance. You know why? Because it included for them (and includes for us) (1) freedom from slavery, (2) victory over the enemy, and (3) a Promised Land for eternity.

Awesome! Amazingly awesome.

Getting Better by Degrees (Psalm 128)

The Songs of Degrees (Psalms 120-134) are organized in triads. There are five groups of three. The trinity goes: (1) trouble, (2) trust, (3) triumph. God allows trouble so we trust him, and we move through trust to triumph. So when you look at Psalm 128 you see the closing song of the third series.

It pictures what heaven is like. Wait. You better blow the dust off your Bible and read it, because Psalm 128 pictures the happiness that Israel and humanity enjoy when Jesus is seated as King in Zion.

Can I take a teaching moment right here? According to the gospel of Mark, the first word Jesus preached was about the kingdom. I know you don't believe me, but you ought to believe the Bible.

Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel. (Mark 1:14)

Jesus calls all the nation to repent in light of the "good news" about "kingdom come." But when the Bible talks about the "kingdom of heaven," the word heaven is not being used of a far-off place in "the sweet by-and-by" (or even the land of Far, Far Away). Nor is it a shorthand reference to a generic eternity (like the perfume that was invented by Calvin Klein only in 1988, yet called "Eternity").

"Heaven" is God's "kingdom," which is a space and time expression of God's perfect will. I think I said something; you just missed it. The Psalms of Ascent drag it down from the lofty heights so we can make it visible in life. When Zion becomes the capital of the King, it becomes the center around which the world revolves. That means that it becomes the center of all blessing. Happiness will be general (v 1) and specific (v 2), the curse on the earth will be reversed (v 2), no one will be childless (vv 3,6), longevity will be restored (Isa 65:20; Zech 8:4), and there will be peace and prosperity (vv 5-6).

Don't get it twisted. This is heaven. Heaven is not above. Heaven is when Christ the King comes.

Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. (Ps 128:1)

Everyone is blessed who fears the Lord. Fearing the Lord is believing he is who he says he is and who he reveals himself to be, and then submitting to his Lordship. Walking is step-by-step living. Verse 4 starts with the adverbial interjection: Behold! Behold is a verbal hand-clap calling attention to the sad situation that too many of God's own people do not fear him.

Blessing is portrayed four times and two ways in this text. The word in verse 1 (asher, as in the son of Leah) means "happy." The word in verse 4 (barak as in Obama) means "successful." Why did the James gang use one word for both? Because blessing describes the good that comes to people that please the Lord. BlessedNESS comes from God's blessING. So if you bless God you are blessed by God. Let me be kind and rewind. Happiness is tied to holiness just like obedience is tied to fearing God. Hello somebody! Reverence for God is visible-ized by conformity to his will. Being pleasing to him is visible-ized back in "blessing."

Can I give you my "sidewalk definition"? Blessing is God's glory formulated for your good.

I didn't hear you shout, but you should have. When God pronounces you blessed (v 4), you are. Period. So no matter how bad your life is right now, if you are obedient you have his blessing—so you ought to be happy! (Great little counseling tip right here.) Why don't you tie your happiness to your holiness instead of to your happenstance? I mean, why wouldn't you want to be happy with his fellowship even if you were suffering, and with his blessing even if it didn't give you what "you wanted"?

Do you have a burden for blessing? What do you want heaven to be? How about faithful saints (1), successful servants (2), productive parents (3-4), social justice (5), and satisfied seniors (6). Only a dark, "reverse negative" awaits the ungodly.