Not Drunk but Filled, Eph 5:18

Can you even understand the level to which the apostle is calling Christians when this word is set against the lifestyle of the Ephesians? He is not dumbing-down to their age, not simply giving a modified standard of right and wrong. In the same verse, without a break, he puts a prohibition and a command. Why? Because there is a comparison and a contrast.

---

Comparison
They drink, but we are filled to find exhilaration.

They drink, but we are filled to find strength and inner courage.
Not with religious fanaticism but with the spirit of truth. The Holy Ghost is the creator of heroes.
The Holy Spirit brings us strength to work and strength to suffer; strength to receive and strength to dish out; strength to hope in hopelessness and to love when hated; strength to conquer temptation and to perform ministry.

They drink, but we are filled to eliminate pain.
It can drown our misery and support us in agony.
Have you never been through so bad a trial before? Then seek more of the Spirit of God than you have had before. (I just gave you the answer.) His consolation will balance your tribulation, and will bring you to the place that you glory in your infirmities and afflictions for Christ's sake. God uses them to make more room for his Spirit to dwell in you.

They drink, but we are filled to get aroused.
You can always find a reason to do what the flesh wants, but you need to be filled with the Spirit to do what God wills.

They drink, but we are filled to find fellowship.
I often feel the reverse of happy, but I don't want others to be affected. So I go to Him. He is the resurrection and the life. When I look long enough and far enough in his word for quickening, it comes.

---

Contrast
Drunk—thirsty.
Filled—satisfied.

Drunk—excess and riot.
Filled—peace, self-possessed, at rest, free from anger, anxiety and emotion.

Drunk—contention.
Filled—submission.

Drunk—foolish.
Filled—walking as wise.

Drunk—waste time.
Filled—redeem the time.

Drunk—forgotten relationships.
Filled—fulfilling the responsibilities of our roles.

Drunk—weak and vulnerable.
Filled—strong in the Lord and the power of his might.

---

Do you want to know how to be filled? You are asking good questions.
1. Reverently regard him. Worship him. It is a special sin to disrespect him. Honor him by adoring him, and look to him for help. If you want his power you have to acknowledge his presence.
2. Do not grieve him. Let sin grieve you enough to stay away from it. Put away any idea he does not agree with, and agree with him.
3. Open your heart to his influence. Watch for his movements. Pray for him to speak. Ask to be enlightened. Then during the day, mourn if you do not feel him moving.
4. Be fit for him to fill.

Return, O holy Dove! return,
Sweet messenger of rest!
I hate the sins that made thee mourn,
And drove thee from my breast.

5. If you want him to fill you then obey him. Do not trifle with your conscience.
6. If you want to retain his filling, talk about him. He is not a deaf or dumb spirit.

Get on fire, so you can set our church aflame!

Desperate Households

Here is the skeleton outline. To get the complete context and impact you'll have to check out the audio link to the left.

Thesis: In spite of all the change and turmoil that families go through, if Bible principles govern your roles and responsibilities then a dynamic household can be built out of desperate hours.

---

TODAY’S MAJOR POINTS
Point 1. God cares about every Christian perfecting his or her family in the faith.
Point 2. Perfection is possible for imperfect people because our perfect God has given us a perfect word that can be taken by the Holy Spirit and used to radically transform us into a perfect image—Christ.
Point 3. A dynamic family has to be a fortress and not a façade, because God wants us to build families that can withstand the attacks of the enemy.
Point 4. Since they are consecrated to God, that seals their commitment to one another.
Point 5. You didn’t come to your parents; you came through your parents.
Point 6. Do your children know that they have unconditional affection even though you cannot give them unconditional approval?
Point 7. Nothing will alienate a child or a spouse more than making them work for something that ought to be free.
Point 8. If you want a better child, be a better parent.
Point 9. You need to receive your child (or your spouse) even when you are displeased with your child, because that is what consecration looks like.
Point 10. You learn to cope by developing contentment.
Point 11. Perfecting parents learn how to attack the problem without attacking each other.
Point 12. There is no greater gift you can give to your children than to let them see by your actions that you know God, and by your reactions that you obey God.

---

CLUES TO SUCCESSFUL PARENTING
1. A strong sense of consecration

A. Tell them that we will value each other and stay together for a lifetime
B. Remind them frequently that they are a blessing and not a burden
C. Assure them they are loved unconditionally

2. A strong sense of communion

FIVE MAGICAL MOMENTS PRODUCING COMMUNION
A. Part on a positive note
B. Reconnect at the end of the day
C. Go to bed with a good attitude
D. Show appreciation by giving compliments
E. Set aside “date time”

3. A strong set of communication skills

A. By being a good listener

FIVE MUSTS OF INTENTIONAL LISTENING
1. I must listen with a purpose
2. I must practice listening for understanding, rather than criticism
3. I must be aware of words and behaviors that make me defensive; and exercise emotional control even though I disagree
4. I must concentrate on what they are saying
5. I must recognize that listening may be the key to my success

B. By cutting off the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”

1. Criticism
2. Contempt
3. Defensiveness
4. Stonewalling

4. A strong set of coping skills
5. They share a growing sense of Christlikeness

PASSAGES REFERENCED
Prov 24:3 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:
Psa 37:4-5 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Prov 20:3 It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.
Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Prov 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Prov 18:6 A fool’s lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes.
Prov 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
Prov 18:13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
Prov 15:28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
Prov 18:7 A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.
Matt 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

---

Recommended Resources
Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp, Shepherd Press, 1998.
Hints on Child Training, by H. Clay Trumbull. Great Expectations Book Co.: 1993.
Family Shock: Keeping Families Strong in the Midst of Earthshaking Change, by Gary R. Collins. Tyndale House: 1995.
“The Five Musts of Intentional Listening,” by Jan Pedersen. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Pedersen2.html

* Note: recommending a resource does not constitute Alan’s endorsement of everything in the book. Read with discretion, and balance any author’s advice against what you are learning in the Bible through the Career Class or our parenting groups.

Maranatha

At the end of his first letter to the Corinthians Paul takes the stylus from the hand of his stenographer and starts writing himself. What does he say?

1 Cor 16:22 If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha.

Paul combines in one sentence the conviction of his heart about the people who reject his Jesus Christ. If anyone love not the Lord. That is the word for simple human affection. If any man or woman does not emotionally extend themselves to Jesus Christ, then there is nothing for that person in eternity, and their lack of love for the Lord proves their lostness.

Anathema is a Greek word that the James gang left untranslated. It was notorious. Infamous, even by 1611. It came to convey a special English meaning.

Appearing six times in your New Testament, it means to be set aside to God. Not consecrated to ministry because of his mercy, but offered in worship as an object of wrath. Like an animal brought to the temple, devoted to destruction.

If any man or woman in this city does not love Jesus Christ, there is no hope for them. His coming simply curses them. That man or woman will perish because they are devoted to destruction as a result of their decision about Jesus.

With the word Maranatha, Paul broke off into Aramaic. Aramaic was the language of Jesus and his homeboys. Aramaic was the childhood language of Paul studying under that great rebbe, rav Gamaliel in Jerusalem. When Paul wants to convey something intimate he slips into Aramaic. So what is Paul saying to end it all?

They will be accursed Maranatha. That brings us to this intimate Aramaic expression, "the Lord cometh." He has come; he is coming, and this man or woman will be accursed, devoted to destruction at his return coming. Anathema Maranatha. A word for the Jew and a word for the Gentile to remind us of what happens at his coming.

That's what we’ve forgotten in our community. That's why the churches aren't having the impact they could. We forget the negative consequences of Christ's coming. People walk by, and we forget they are devoted to destruction if they are lost.

This is what Paul underlines as the last-said and most-important idea for the church in the urban center. The secret of a successful Christian life is a passionate devotion to the Lord. If you do not have that passionate devotion to Christ, then you have nothing and will be reduced to nothing, because you stand Anathema Maranatha—condemned at his coming. We can’t do anything else for you. After all, he came. He died. Hell is no more than you deserve when this love is no less than God gave.

In the early days of the church, when the Roman Empire was hell-bent on stamping it out, Christians had a watchword. Whenever they met—in the catacombs, in secret meetings, in underground Bible studies, in prisons—they said it: maranatha. He is coming.

Those little groups of Christians, harried and harassed and chased like fugitives, were scattered by persecution. When a Roman Legionnaire caught up with them—when Imperial storm troopers finally found the rebel band and caught them—they encouraged each other with, Maranatha. “Hold on, bro’. Be brave, because the Lord is coming for us! Keep the faith, dog. Be bold, Maranatha man. We can't carry on without him, but we can't give in with him. Maranatha!”

The early churches triumphed in spreading the gospel across North Africa, wiping the Mediterranean basin, and throughout the emerging European world. Why can't we do it in Kansas City? It's only limited by what we can't do in your life. Ask God to light the flame in your heart. Give him your life and he’ll take care of the passion. Submit to God's word. Seek Christ's character. Surrender to the lover of your soul.

It is no fiction Jesus has come. It is no fable that he returns. Any day, any hour, Jesus may return. When he does he will heal every wound and dry every tear. But remember, he also wipes away every rebellion. He quarantines sin for eternity. He “cleans house,” and sanitizes it with fire. That is why rejection now results in condemnation then. Don't put off the lover of your soul.

Maranatha (but remember, anathema).

Sunday Synopsis: Perfecting Parenting

I can't get everything in on Sundays, so we are going to use this for overflow. Last week started our new series on biblical principles of parenting, so let me set it off with a synopsis of Sunday's teaching. Our first topic for teaching is "A Biblical Philosophy of Parenting."

The homiletical idea here is that no one is naturally pre-wired to be a biblical parent, but fortunately parenting is a skill you can perfect. So parenting is like any other aspect of life: you need to know how God’s handbook on humanity says to run it. The first point that lays the foundation for biblical childrearing is

Prov 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Since you missed what that verse is saying, let me be kind and rewind. Happiness is defined in Prov 29:18 as setting a goal to see Bible principles applied in your life. The idea of vision means having a very concrete picture of what a good parent is, no matter how you were raised as a child. This is necessary since children do not go where you say, because they cannot cognitively process things that way; children go where you show, because their little life is based on imitation.

We teach a philosophy of discipleship encompassed in four biblical goals. Likewise, there are at least four good goals to biblical parenting.

Goal 1. Establish them in a safe and secure environment.

Each goal has a task tied to it that makes it practical and accountable.

Task 1. The way you establish children in a secure environment is through constant, consistent and courageous communication about life-issues from a biblical frame of reference.

This is necessary because the thing that most often causes rebellion in children is hypocrisy in the parents. Hello somebody!

Goal 2. Establish them in good citizenship. Good citizenship means
· They have a good attitude toward law enforcement
· They participate with you, through this church, in being productive in the community
· They contribute to the well-being of others at school and the edification of others at church

—because good citizenship is tied to acting like God in the community.

Task 2. You get to this goal by teaching them to submit to authority.

Most parents stop with goal #1. Some go as far as level 2. A complete biblical philosophy of parenting has two civil goals (one internal to the house: security, and one external to society: good citizen). But then it goes even further to two spiritual goals (one internal, dealing with attitude, and one external encompassing action). First, the aspect of internal attitude.

Goal 3. Establish them in biblical understanding.
· Knowledge is the facts of a situation
· Wisdom is knowing how to take the facts and act in that situation
· Understanding is how God figures into the situation

So there is a task tied to the accomplishment of this goal as well.

Task 3. Educate them in what it takes to be pleasing to God by first making right decisions, and then secondly developing the discipline to get it done.

This is illustrated through the book of Proverbs. That gets us to level-four parenting.

Goal 4: Establish them in godliness.

Because the only way our city will get better is for parents to be godly so their children can be good. And the fourth goal, even though it is the highest level, is the foundation of the other three.

Task 4: The Process of Biblical Parenting

A. Start with the heart, Luke 6:45; Prov 4:23
· As you deal with the heart start with three ideas: conviction, grace, and free choice

B. Stick to the scriptures, Heb 4:12; Deut 6:5-7; 2 Tim 3:15

· Remember that while you are teaching your child and training them in the word, it is also cutting you!

C. Seek the Spirit to help you live what you lip, Psa 127:4

· The target you are pointed at is the one that your children will hit!

D. Strive for biblical success, Josh 1:8; 24:15

Next Sunday we will be teaching from the topic of how to parent the prodigal.

Sin by Surprise

1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Do you really love God? Use this text as the test. All of us sometimes fall into sin by surprise, but if we consistently deliberately go to it—if we go into it without hating it—how does the love of God dwell in us?

Some people never purify themselves even though they do not defile themselves. They never take sides with Christ unless others are on his side. They do not take sides with the Devil, but they try to stay neutral. They don't join in the ridicule, but they never stand up for Christ. That's "dead fish" Christianity.

The dead fish floats downstream. It still floats, but it is dead. If you give-up to the current you are in, it proves you are spiritually dead. Previous generations of Christians had to fight to win the crown. Do you expect to get it while lying in bed? Do you really believe there are crowns in heaven for those who do not fight against their sins? Do you think there are rewards for those who never endured hardness for Christ's sake?

If you want to get to heaven, it is already paid by grace through the blood of Jesus Christ. It is all by simple faith and trusting in the cross to save you. There is heaven for all who believe, but there is no crown except for warriors. You missed that, so read back over it. There are no rewards except for those who contend for the mastery against the flesh, against Satan, against sin, and over the world.

There is a lot you will never attain except with God at your back, pushing. But if you have the hope of Christ's coming , if it is a hope IN HIM, you can win the day. You will be purifying yourself, just like he is pure. And when he shall appear, you will be like him. Let's make that the goal next year.

Union and Communion

One thought has recently surfaced in discussions on the pastoral staff: we have lost the mystical. No one meditates. We keep our daily fifteen-minute devotion and walk out the door without God.

Not only do we not meditate; we do not read good books. Our mind is drugged by TV drama but not pushed and challenged by godly authors. No wonder the epidemic of Alzheimer's. Here's a sure cure.

In the 1650s an English Puritan preacher named John Owen wrote a tome entitled Communion with the Triune God. It has recently been edited and reprinted (at 448 pages) by Crossway Books. His thesis: believers need to know their God in order to be faithful worshippers. How do we know God, Owen asks? In his three persons (Father-Son-Spirit). The way you understand the One is through the Three. There is no "God behind the Gods."

In preparing these sermons for publication, Owen ended up penning more about the person of the Holy Spirit than any other Western theologian before him. He walks the line between two camps emerging in the seventeenth century: the rationalists and the emotionalists. The first group diminished the activity of the Spirit. The second prioritized spiritual experiences without checking that they came from the Holy Spirit. Churches today are not very different. Either they ignore the Spirit, or they are spiritual but not biblical.

Owen was clear on a key doctrine: standing and state (or what he calls union and communion). Our standing is a unilateral action by God, which establishes our relationship with him in heavenly places, and does not ebb and flow. Who we are "in Christ" does not change with out changes. This is our union and is the standing of all true believers.

Relationship requires response, so our state is our earthly experience of communion, and it can fluctuate. It is who we are in the world. Communion is our continuous prayer, corporate worship, and biblical meditation. Since you missed that, you better go back and read those three things again, because forsaking them does not make God love us less, but having them makes our state come closer to match our standing. Giving into temptation and neglecting devotion (forsaking our consecration) puts us in a state that threatens our communion, but not our union.

Four things flow from recognizing this distinction.
1. We are saved by God's grace, which is freely detached from either who we are, who God foresees we could become, or what we have done. State is not based on standing. Union is not based on our sense of communion.
2. The children of God have a real relationship with God, which means there are things they do in communion to either help or hinder it
3. Our unchangeable union with Christ is what encourages us to turn and return from sin, claim our forgiveness, and restore our fellowship with God
4. Obedience flows from our standing in grace; it affects our communion but is never the ground for our union

How do we relate to the Spirit, Owen asks? By distinguishing between sanctification and consolation. Sanctification is the Spirit’s work that sets us apart as belonging to Christ. It enables our standing, our union with Christ. Consolation is the Spirit’s word that enables our communion and enhances our state in our circumstances.

Want a reviving revelation? You do not have to be passive in the Spirit’s work of consolation. Do three things.
A. Seek the Spirit’s comfort by focusing your mind and meditation on scripture’s promises. This will give you correct mentality.
B. Call out in prayer for the Spirit to bring you correct emotions through his consolation, and strengthening with might in the inner man. This will give you correct motives and feelings.
C. Pay attention to the Spirit’s “monitions” or movement in your life. This will allow your will to follow correct thinking and feeling.

Typical of most all Puritan authors, this is a detailed work, not for the faint of heart. It will repay your attention. If your attention span is not that long, then get Spurgeon (1) and read him, because he sucked-out all the marrow from Owen before he preached. And remember, he who is the Comforter always abides, even when he is not doing his work of comforting.

(1) For example, Spurgeon's Sermons on Jesus And the Holy Spirit, Charles Spurgeon. Hendrickson, 2006. And, The Unknown God: 25 Sermons on the Subject of the Holy Spirit, Charles Spurgeon. Fox River Press, 2003.

Alan's Faves—Love to the edge of doom

1 Cor 13:7 Charity… believeth all things,

Love is not gullible. When Jesus was kissed by Judas, he didn't say, "Oh you sweet boy. I'm so glad you changed your mind about betraying me."

No. Love still recognizes the kiss of a traitor, but love is willing to believe anything until it knows it is wrong. This means if someone wants another chance, love can grant it within Biblical parameters and structure.

Love is not easily deceived. Love is not blind, but it is absent a suspicious nature. Puppy love is blind; God's love simply takes the best possible view of others in every circumstance. Love will consider good motives. Love will make every allowance for failure.

When a man or woman falls, after he has repented and stood back up again, love will think about the battle he or she must have fought! Love will think about the struggle he or she must have had before being cut down. That’s why my personal favorite poem is Say Not the Struggle Nought Availeth.

Say not the struggle naught availeth, the labour and the wounds are vain,
The enemy faints not, nor faileth, and as things have been they remain.
If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars; it may be, in yon smoke conceal'd,
Your comrades chase e'en now the fliers—and, but for you, possess the field.

For while the tired waves, vainly breaking, seem here no painful inch to gain,
Far back, through creeks and inlets making, comes silent, flooding in, the main.
And not by eastern windows only, when daylight comes, comes in the light;
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly, but westward, look! the land is bright!

—Arthur Hugh Clough, 1819–1861

My favorite quote is by Teddy Roosevelt.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to he man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew niether victory nor defeat.

—Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919

1 Cor 13:7 Charity… hopeth all things,

Even when belief in a loved one's goodness or repentance is shattered, love keeps hoping on. That way, as long as God's grace is operative, human failure is never final. Shakespeare speaks of this quality of charity in one of his sonnets.

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wan'dring [ship],
Whose worth's unknown, although his [height] be taken.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

I think the Shake was meditating in his Bible that day. This is a photograph of Jesus Christ. We will produce these qualities of a Biblical love—not by self-improvement, not by self-attainment—but we will do it by responding to life's challenges in the character of Christ, who has already shed abroad the love of God in our hearts (Rom 5:5). These are the only qualities that make life worth living.